For a Moment

Days are changing, so are weeks, months, years, decades. What have you done as a human being, after living for twenty some years? Are you doing something worth to tell to your children or grandchildren?

What a grand opening of post, isn’t it? Lol. It’s been months since my last post, so here i am, drown in the memories when trying to post this.


“My mental has been drowned these days. I am in agony. I want to go home”

*another sigh*

It’s been chaotic last week. I was a participant in a training, or should i call myself a trainee? Well, whatever. I was invited to join the training, so were my friends. For 4 days, we were encouraged to learn more about human body and the metabolic diseases; the anatomy, pathophysiology, mechanism of drugs and the conseling.

The training itself, well, is hard. The materials were handed days ago before the training started and we couldn’t learn everything in such time, not to mention we are working too. Okay i know it’s an excuse. Anyway, the truth has been spoiled in early paragraph. It made me tired, the whole training. I won’t complain about that, because me as a human being, know that most things made me tired.

One day, we were given a case, and to solve it, we met a patient and we had to ask the patient about everything, including how the patient lives after stroke happened on the patient years ago.

Participants of the training began to ask the patient about the stroke event and other essential things for solving the case. Every single thing she said, had become the clues for us to solve the case.

She was hospitalised twice, the first was because of the stroke and the second was because of her high blood glucose levels. She can’t walk normally after the stroke. Her hands were still in numb and shaking that time, even after her blood glucose levels are controlled over years. Her vision at her left eye was blurred. Her blood indicators are at risk levels. For years, with the help of her family and pharmacist, she managed to change her lifestyle and compliance over the drugs. Her attitude is at the best level, not giving up after everything she’s been through. It’s not easy, at all.

At that moment, when she told us her stories, i managed to recognize a natural happiness on her face. A smile was portrayed at her face, widely, beautifully, even when we bombarded her with questions.

Some people, realize that bad moments in their life, aren’t meant to be talked, never again, because it can hurt them again. But the patient i met, she managed to tell everything with a smile, telling us her stories of her struggles during the days.

The point is… I feel so ashamed that i have been living enough with good health condition but all i do is… Sigh. Complain. Sigh. Complain again. The cycle is repeated all over again.

I was thinking for a moment, smiling, that once again, God is kind enough to tell me to feel grateful over my life.

So, back to the first paragraph. I am not doing anything really great these years as i’m living. But, i’m trying hard, not to complain about every fucking single thing and trying to do things right and make my dreams come true. I never do anything that great to be proud of by entire generation or nation, but i will do many kindness, how small it is, in a great way.


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