The Calling

Meraki is probably the word passion in verb. People said, the works that we do with and without passion will be different. Happiness is always found in doing something with passion, vice versa. 

Pondering with thoughts, a 20ish woman asking herself against the mirror, “Are you finally doing something with your heart?”. She smiled, nodding her head as she went to work. 

A story about my struggling against life time crisis last year. 

Life time crisis: the time when you questioned yourself of who you are and what you are going to do with your life

Common situation you face after graduation : what kind of works i should do? 

At this month, last year. Job vacancies are all over the group chats. Big company with big chance of having great salary is what the fresh graduate searching for. I was doing my best to have a settled job, wishing that at least i can help my parents and other people. 

Been a few months after graduation, the chat notifications are full with congratulating mesaages for my friends. Many of them are accepted in big companies, that i’ve been dreaming of, but i never, got there. 

Uncertainty floods my heart. Heavy breathing, tears keep overflowing as I pray. Doubting myself for not having enough skills. Doubting God for not letting me have a job. 

Trying to stand once again when falling few times, reassure myself that God will always give the best thing for me.

One day, I remember being an asshole, half-assed studying, when I have to study the subject that I always hate. At the same time, I remember being a completely different side of me, searching for every details in the subject just so I can pass the test.

 Scratching my head, asking to myself, “Huh? I already know the answers but why do I keep being stubborn?” 

God makes me realize something in the middle of stressful days of finding a job.

I remember of praying countless times, “Let me have a job that I can pour my heart into it.”

Then it just comes to me. To find a job that I always avoid because of not-so-great salary. I know from the start, lol it’s even my purpose of studying pharmacy; become a community pharmacist, the job that I always avoid, is the job that I always love.

I don’t really have specific passion in the beginning. But as time goes on, I realize that I’m truly happy when I can help someone with the knowledge that I learn. 

I always know. My heart knows, but I choose to ignore it. Then God leads me to the path where my calling is. 

My definition of a perfect life will be myself having a job that I truly love, the job that I can pour my heart into it. Because, you know, a person doing her/his passion is sexy 😂

Got the pics from pinterest. Saved in my board 😉


For a Moment

Days are changing, so are weeks, months, years, decades. What have you done as a human being, after living for twenty some years? Are you doing something worth to tell to your children or grandchildren? 

What a grand opening of post, isn’t it? Lol. It’s been months since my last post, so here i am, drown in the memories when trying to post this. 


“My mental has been drowned these days. I am in agony. I want to go home”

*another sigh*

It’s been chaotic last week. I was a participant in a training, or should i call myself a trainee? Well, whatever. I was invited to join the training, so were my friends. For 4 days, we were encouraged to learn more about human body and the metabolic diseases; the anatomy, pathophysiology, mechanism of drugs and the conseling. 

The training itself, well, is hard. The materials were handed days ago before the training started and we couldn’t learn everything in such time, not to mention we are working too. Okay i know it’s an excuse. Anyway, the truth has been spoiled in early paragraph. It made me tired, the whole training. I won’t complain about that, because me as a human being, know that most things made me tired. 

One day, we were given a case, and to solve it, we met a patient and we had to ask the patient about everything, including how the patient lives after stroke happened on the patient years ago. 

Participants of the training began to ask the patient about the stroke event and other essential things for solving the case. Every single thing she said, had become the clues for us to solve the case. 

She was hospitalised twice, the first was because of the stroke and the second was because of her high blood glucose levels. She can’t walk normally after the stroke. Her hands were still in numb and shaking that time, even after her blood glucose levels are controlled over years. Her vision at her left eye was blurred. Her blood indicators are at risk levels. For years, with the help of her family and pharmacist, she managed to change her lifestyle and compliance over the drugs. Her attitude is at the best level, not giving up after everything she’s been through. It’s not easy, at all. 

At that moment, when she told us her stories, i managed to recognize a natural happiness on her face. A smile was portrayed at her face, widely, beautifully, even when we bombarded her with questions. 

Some people, realize that bad moments in their life, aren’t meant to be talked, never again, because it can hurt them again. But the patient i met, she managed to tell everything with a smile, telling us her stories of her struggles during the days. 

The point is… I feel so ashamed that i have been living enough with good health condition but all i do is… Sigh. Complain. Sigh. Complain again. The cycle is repeated all over again. 

I was thinking for a moment, smiling, that once again, God is kind enough to tell me to feel grateful over my life. 

So, back to the first paragraph. I am not doing anything really great these years as i’m living. But, i’m trying hard, not to complain about every fucking single thing and trying to do things right and make my dreams come true. I never do anything that great to be proud of by entire generation or nation, but i will do many kindness, how small it is, in a great way. 

Meaningful Memento | Yogyakarta

2011. I decided to go on a journey to a new place, Yogyakarta.

Having a study in a completely different place is not common for some people, including me. 17 years, I never even once go too far from my house, my family, whenever I go to school.

2011. I chose to be brave, taking a new step in a new place, hoping that I can become more independent person in the future.


The 5-year-journey is recorded clearly in my mind. The first time I greet my friends. The first time I experience a difficulty of talking in a different language, eventhough it’s still in the same country. The first time I meet different people across various regions.

Yogyakarta. The place where I was evolved a lot to be a better person, thanks to the great environment and great people.

Yogyakarta. The place, the city where I was mesmerized by its own different charms. The people who often smiles at you, when you don’t even know them. The deep rooted cultures that makes you in awe, because every citizen keep it mantained for years. The needs for food and life supplies that makes you wondering and pondering of how cheap everything is. Last but not the least, friends, colleagues and people around me who always makes Yogyakarta the best place to stay at. Double happiness, if I may say. The internal factors of Yogyakarta itself, plus the external factors, me and my friends who were nomads; learners in a college.

2016. Been three months since I went back to my home-sweet-home. Away from Yogyakarta, everything that happened during my 5-year-journey has flashed in my mind. The meaningful mementos from that journey are recorded in pictures, videos, and other things. If I have to choose on as a representative, I won’t be able to do it. Every memento I have, is an important representative of different events that happened.

I think I know why I’m in love with Yogyakarta. Aside from the friends whom I met there, I realized something that is absent in my origin city, that is manners. Not like there is totally no manners in my origin city, it’s just so rare to find it. That’s the most likeable thing that I like; a meaningful memento I’d like to remember for forever from my journey in Yogyakarta.

Goodbye, Yogyakarta. I’ll make sure I visit you again in the future. My wishes upon you, are to stay the same, maintain the great cultures and to stay changed, to be a better and better city in terms of public services.

See you, Yogyakarta, in the distant future.

via Discover Challenge: Finding Your Place

Polyglot :

Polyglot (adj.) : able to speak or write several languages; multilingual



I remember the first time I learned this word. It was when I held my dream as an English and Japanese native speaker. Behind the story of that dream ambition is simple, only because I loved watching anime in English subtitle. Such a simple minded person I was.

I still have this ambition, to be a polyglot. It’s not easy as I think before. Learning new languages require stability. Something that I still don’t have. Some said, to learn language, what you have to do is learn everyday, even only one word. When you said ‘later’, you know what it would end up. Procrastination. Laziness. Forgetfulness.

And when you suddenly feel energetic again, you open your book to learn some chapters or open language learning application….

*sigh* I already learned this chapter that time, but I forget it again. Do i have to start from the beginning again? When will I get the polyglot title if I am still walking in the same place?

Not trying to make people offended. I saw my reflection when writing this post (to my current self who’s a pro-procrastinator, wake up !).

The thing is, not only learning language, when we’re learning anything, if you don’t re-run through chapters or lessons in your book, materials, or whatsoever, you will meet forgetfulness.

Can I pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? It’s a lyric from Airplanes (part 2)

I really hope 2017 will be a year which I can learn English, Japanese, Korean, Russian and French, much more than what I did in 2016. Those unique alphabets and accents are the reasons why I keep my preseverance to be a polyglot.

Let’s learn more languages !

P.S: Duolingo, memrise, drops. Apps that I used a lot in the past to learn languages. It has helped me a lot.